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    • Someone who cant decide what they want. I call them urong-sulong type. Just go for it of you want it or leave.  One of the things i know is a wrong move on my end which ended up hurting me is trusting someone to keep a promise and then when i look back, they never really said the words "i promise".. so there was never really a promise to keep. Wrong move I assumed they promised but they never did.
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I havent been in a good head space for more than a week now. There are days, you just cry. You try to pick yourself up but you just cant do it.

I tried to cheer myself by watching comedies and I still cried. I just want to be happy. Smile a real smile. Laugh my heart out. 

Wth each day of this pandemic, it is getting harder and harder for me.. and there are others like me.. maybe in even worse state of mind.

 

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Guest getsumei

sharing time

 

i think it started way back 2011 pa but never really recognized it since i was able to go out and keep my mind off things.

 

come 2020, when quarantine started, things piled up and what broke me was when people in my family suddenly got diagnosed with diseases. non covid, but life threatening.

 

i realized that im under depression after finding myself crying while i was working at home. i looked around and saw boxes upon boxes of items i never really used. tldr, the state of my unit actually reflected what i have been going thru and i never realized until then.

 

tldr

 

presently, what im doing as self therapy is to take a selfie of my self whenever im crying. i look at it and talk to it. i use it to keep myself grounded to reality and afirm my resolution of getting over this.

 

i believe that depression is partly a test of resolve. so i think small steps of acknowledging the problem and addressing those.

 

to be honest, after this, i'll be taking another selfie.

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6 hours ago, Guest getsumei said:

sharing time

 

i think it started way back 2011 pa but never really recognized it since i was able to go out and keep my mind off things.

 

come 2020, when quarantine started, things piled up and what broke me was when people in my family suddenly got diagnosed with diseases. non covid, but life threatening.

 

i realized that im under depression after finding myself crying while i was working at home. i looked around and saw boxes upon boxes of items i never really used. tldr, the state of my unit actually reflected what i have been going thru and i never realized until then.

 

tldr

 

presently, what im doing as self therapy is to take a selfie of my self whenever im crying. i look at it and talk to it. i use it to keep myself grounded to reality and afirm my resolution of getting over this.

 

i believe that depression is partly a test of resolve. so i think small steps of acknowledging the problem and addressing those.

 

to be honest, after this, i'll be taking another selfie.

Thank you for sharing. We all have different ways of dealing with depression.

This pandemic has tested a lot of us. We were forced to face problems that we avoided pre-pandemic.  

I hope, you and me and everybody else going through the similar struggles get through this in one piece.

If you need an outlet, post here. Share your thoughts. Take care.

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So the last few weeks have been a struggle. 

I started the year with the right headspace. I was ok, mostly. 

Met someone, my mistake was i let that someone get too close that i started depending on him in times when it wasnt too good.

Long story short, because of circumstances, that someone ended up being a source of confusion and anxiety.  Part of me wished to go back to the days when i find comfort in his company. But that isnt the case anymore.

So now, im going through the motions when you have to let someone or something go. I there are times when im angry, times when i want to reach out, times when i just wallow. 

Overall, i just want to say, the past few weeks have been a struggle because it just magnified how alone and lonely i really am. 

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